I’m Letting Go, Go, Go

Have you ever felt like you were just holding onto a lot of extra baggage that made your journey more difficult? That’s how I felt when I landed in Nashville in 2019. While I physically had my belongings that I took with me, there was all of this extra baggage that made its way down South with me rather than being left behind in California. Insecurities, doubt, shame, guilt, regret, self-punishment, and a whole host of other harmful feelings from past relationships and society’s expectations that we often carry around with us. I wanted to live this new and exciting life, yet I was trapped in an old version of myself, one that would not serve me in this part of my journey. So what to do? 

Well, you write an album about the healing process, right? It takes a lot of courage—and time—to confront, process, and make peace with the feelings that leave us stuck. At the time, I had started the process of reconciling different parts of the past to help me understand why I behaved the way I did. It wasn’t until I got to Nashville (and would go through intense isolation during the pandemic) that I could really figure out what to do with all of these emotions: let them go. 

Letting go is not easy. It’s not a simple process. But it is a necessary one for our development and evolution so we can reach our highest potential. In my case, it was where I believed God wanted me to go. 

My upcoming album, “Breaking Bread: Songs of Reconciliation,” was born out of all of the questions that arose; the hurt, pain, and shame that I wrestled with while learning to let go. I literally—and figuratively—chewed on the words as they came out of my mouth, which then became the foundation and nourishment for my songs. As recently departed Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh put it, “No Mud, No Lotus.” Essentially, I had to chew my way through all of my feelings. Out of that very painful and taxing healing process, came music, lots of it. And a better, more whole me. 

I want listeners of this album to feel healing and restoration like I did. We go through life and have experiences along the way that eat at our souls. I’m praying that this collection of songs can nourish and restore our lives to what they’re meant to be. I titled the album “Breaking Bread: Songs of Reconciliation” for two reasons: One, I want you to be able to sit, break bread, and have a meal with yourself and have these songs serve as the soundtrack for that dining experience. And two, I want these songs to nourish and fill your soul just like a piece of hearty bread would. 

How often are we told not to fill up on bread or we'll spoil the rest of our meal? I’m inviting you to do the opposite and eat up to your heart's content. An image that swirled in my head while writing the album was a heart-shaped piece of bread being broken. We often have to crack our hearts wide open, expose them, take out all of the junk, and then put it back together to heal. As hard as that process is, just know that you are not alone on that journey—I’ve gone through it and am here to tell you that there is freedom on the other side. I pray that when you listen to my music, you can see that transformation is possible, learning to love and accept yourself is possible, and then, in turn, we can better love others as well as society. You too can begin the journey of healing and restoration. 

There you have it. Now you know what this record and its unique name are all about. So I invite you to come, sit, break bread with me, and let’s head down that journey together.

“Breaking Bread: Songs of Reconciliation” is out July 15. Pre-save it on Spotify and pre-add it on Apple Music now.